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Conan Season 3 Episode 118 One If by Land, Two If by Jetski 2012

7.04/10 by 225 users

Neil Patrick Harris, Shailene Woodley and comedian Dan St. Germaine

Released: 2013-07-30
Runtime: 60 minutes
Genre: Talk, Comedy, News
Stars: Conan O'Brien, Andy Richter
Director: Robert James Ashe

1. Superman Takes Ambien and Accidentally Sleep-Destroys Tokyo 2012-11-05

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2. Saw VI: The Past Tense of See VI 2012-11-06

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3. I've Got 100 Problems, and Yes, Karen Is One of Them 2012-11-07

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4. The Day They Announced Five More Twilight Movies 2012-11-08

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5. "Boo!", Said Boo Radley When Asked What His Name Was 2012-11-13

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6. The Vague Man Who Said Something 2012-11-14

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7. The Lorax XXX 2012-11-15

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8. What Does Not Kill You, Only Makes You Decide to Sell Your Hang Gliding Equipment on eBay 2012-11-26

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9. Dial N for "Not How You Spell Murder" 2012-11-27

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10. Surprise, Fourth Graders, You're the Mets! 2012-11-28

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11. The Unicorn That Hated Little Girls 2012-11-29

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12. The Lion, the Witch, and the Ward Boss 2012-12-03

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13. The Puppy Photo That Got 42 Dislikes 2012-12-04

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14. Honey, Can You Please Help Me Open This Can of Whoop-Ass? 2012-12-05

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15. The Announcer Who Couldn't Sing 2012-12-06

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16. Star Wars Episode 7: A Cautiously Optimistic Hope 2012-12-10

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17. The Narcoleptic Insomniac 2012-12-11

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18. Conan's Got a Cold 2012-12-12

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19. The Unfortunate Rap Career of Dr. Dreidel 2012-12-13

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20. Melf Hunters 3: North Polin' 2012-12-17

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21. The Grinch Who Returned Christmas for Full Store Credit 2012-12-18

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22. The Present with No Air Holes That Stopped Meowing 2012-12-19

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23. Whatever You Do, Do Not Do a Google Image Search for "Geese-a-Laying" 2012-12-20

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24. 6 Resolutions Broken, 3 to Go 2013-01-07

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25. The Guy Who Drove a Hummer and Wasn't a Total A-Hole 2013-01-08

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26. Fool Me Once, Shame on You, Fool Me Twice, I Kick You in the Scrote 2013-01-09

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27. Betty White's Bud in Bieber's Bong 2013-01-10

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28. All Quiet on the Western Front, Until Someone's Car Alarm Went Off 2013-01-14

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29. Smells Like Murder, But It's Probably Fish 2013-01-15

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30. The Chamomile Conundrum 2013-01-16

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31. Texas Chainsaw Seminar: How to Sell Chainsaws from Home! 2013-01-17

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32. Siri, Where Is My Kidney? 2013-01-21

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33. The Long Awaited Revenge of Zippy Smiles 2013-01-22

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34. Step Up 3D 2: The Stepening 2013-01-23

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35. The Least Fantastic Pants of Professor Downplays-His-Pants 2013-01-24

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36. Sweet Home Al-Jazeera 2013-01-28

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37. The Day the Mime Stood Still 2013-01-29

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38. Watch Tonight's Show and Live Forever* (*This Claim Is 100% False) 2013-01-30

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39. Occupy CONAN: When Outsourcing Goes Too Far 2013-01-31

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40. The Day Lincoln Joined LinkedIn 2013-02-04

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41. Charlie and the Chocolate Factory That Was a Front for a Sweatshop That Makes Gym Bags 2013-02-05

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42. Yahtzee at the OK Corral 2013-02-06

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43. The Strange Case of Case Strangerson 2013-02-07

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44. The Postman Always Butt-Dials Twice 2013-02-11

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45. The Walls Have Ears, and Other Side Effects of This Medication 2013-02-12

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46. The Hunchback of Notre Dame Law School 2013-02-13

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47. Love Means Never Having to Say, "Do You Think Your Friend Would Be Into a Three-Way?" 2013-02-14

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48. The Surprising Bar Mitzvah of Seamus O'Flannery 2013-02-19

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49. "Waka Flocka Flame," Said the Drunk Rooster 2013-02-20

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50. The Roomba with a View 2013-02-21

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51. The All-Girl Sausage Party 2013-02-25

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52. You Have the Right to Remain Naked 2013-02-26

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53. The Legend of Legend Cove 2013-02-27

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54. The Exquisitely Subtle Beauty of a Perfectly Formed Badonkadonk 2013-02-28

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55. Kathy, Will You Marry Me? Give Me Your Answer in Tomorrow's Episode Title 2013-03-04

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56. Yes I'll Marry You, But My Name Is Karen, Not Kathy 2013-03-05

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57. The Ex-Cons Who Discussed the Pros and Cons of Prose 2013-03-06

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58. A Time to Kill Time 2013-03-07

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59. The Octopus Who Was a Master Pickpocket in Highly Specific Circumstances 2013-03-11

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60. The Sophomore Who Took a Year Off to Find Himself Unemployable 2013-03-12

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61. Angels in Poorly-Made Devil Costumes 2013-03-13

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62. The Man in the Gray Flannel Snuggie 2013-03-14

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63. I Just Called to Say I Love Wheat Thins 2013-03-25

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64. The Title with the Unnecessary Question Mark? 2013-03-26

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65. The Auto-Corrector's Last Will & Testicle 2013-03-27

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66. The Ginger Went Down to Georgia 2013-04-01

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67. It's Not the Heatlanta, It's the Humidylanta 2013-04-02

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68. Gone with the Wind, But Don't Worry, We're Insured 2013-04-03

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69. The Show Where We Partied Too Much in Atlanta to Think of a Good Episode Title 2013-04-04

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70. The Inspiring Journey of the Armless, Legless...Oh Wait That's a Snake 2013-04-08

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71. The Surprisingly Non-Ostentatious Summer Home of King Tut 2013-04-09

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72. Beer Squad: Battle in Sudsville 2013-04-10

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73. Zero Dark Thirty: The Squeakquel 2013-04-11

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74. The Episode Title WITH Misplaced Emphasis 2013-04-15

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75. Keep Your Friends Close, Your Frenemies Closer 2013-04-16

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76. Django Snowchained 2013-04-17

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77. Auto-Corrective Asphyxiation 2013-04-18

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78. Return of the Dawn of the Sequel III 2013-04-29

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79. Are You There God? It's Me, a Courtesy Call from Time Warner Cable to Tell You About How Much You Can Save by Bundling Services 2013-04-30

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80. Green Eggs and Ham and Trichinosis 2013-05-01

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81. Sir Arthur Conan Doyle and the Ruination of His Middle Name 2013-05-02

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82. The Episode Title with the Inset Box of Me 2013-05-06

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83. The Court Martial of Cap'n Crunch 2013-05-07

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84. Press "Pound" for Murder 2013-05-08

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85. The Very Understated Adventures of Captain Beige 2013-05-09

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86. There Is No "I" in Tim. That's How Unselfish He Is! 2013-05-14

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87. IMDBCooper 2013-05-15

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88. "Why Are You All Laughing?" Asked the Glass Blower 2013-05-16

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89. The Princess and the P. Diddy 2013-05-20

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90. Kentucky Freud Chicken and the Terrible Psychiatry Joke 2013-05-21

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91. The Completely Flat Man... in 3-D!!! 2013-05-22

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92. The Illegitimate Rise of Steve Bastard 2013-05-23

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93. Butt-Dial M for Murder 2013-06-03

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94. The Exotic Marigold Hotel 2: Dench Does Dallas 2013-06-04

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95. The Man Whose Darkest Secret Is That He Kind of Likes The Wallflowers 2013-06-05

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96. Alien Meets The Fokkers 2013-06-06

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97. The Limber Chef Who Tossed His Own Salad 2013-06-10

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98. Do Not Ask for Whom the Bell Tolls, Because It's Out for Its Annual Servicing 2013-06-11

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99. Escape from Podcast Mountain 2013-06-12

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100. The Fast & the Dealing-with-Their-Fury-Through-Journaling 6 2013-06-13

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101. The Announcer Who Repeated Himself. The Announcer Who Repeated Himself. 2013-06-24

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102. The Mysterious Case of the Two Talk Guests and One Musical Guest 2013-06-25

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103. Never Name Your Daughter Dilda 2013-06-26

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104. The Road to Hell Is Paved with Good Intentions Brand Asphalt, Good Intentions Brand, Ask for It By Name! 2013-06-27

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105. The Slowly Bobbing Adventures of Buoy Boy 2013-07-08

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106. When Your Friend's Kid Just Starts Listing Dinosaurs, It's Okay to Give Him Beer. 2013-07-09

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107. My Friend Went to the Ed Hardy Outlet and All I Got Was This Lousy T-Shirt 2013-07-10

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108. The Episode Where We Worked So Hard on the Show We Didn't Have Time to Come Up with a Great Episode Title, So Let's Just Call This One "Steve" 2013-07-11

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109. The Day the Earth Stood Still Just Long Enough to Take One Good Selfie 2013-07-15

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110. There, There, Don't Cry. Andy Just Went to Live on a Farm 2013-07-16

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111. Zero on the Richter Scale 2013-07-17

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112. Cheapskate Charley and the Taped-Up iPhone 3S 2013-07-18

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113. 99% Effort, 1% Milk. 2013-07-22

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114. Dog Nerd-A-Palooza: Labradorks vs. Poodle-Dexters 2013-07-23

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115. "What Is Jeopardy?" Said the Senile Alex Trebek 2013-07-24

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116. Slow and Steady Wins the Participation Trophy 2013-07-25

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117. Littering in London: Jack the Ripper's Lesser Crimes 2013-07-29

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118. One If by Land, Two If by Jetski 2013-07-30

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119. Dragon Hunt 2: Scorchy's Revenge 2013-07-31

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120. My Big Fat Greek Landlord 2013-08-01

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121. Journey to Joke Mountain 3: The Laughening 2013-08-05

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122. Free Pizza for Everyone!* (*The statements made in CONAN show titles do not necessarily reflect the views and policies of this company.) 2013-08-06

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123. Egg Police: Omelet You Go with a Warning 2013-08-07

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124. The iTunes Update That Made All the Difference 2013-08-08

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125. Now You See Me, Now You Put On Your Glasses and See Me Better. 2013-08-12

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126. Conan and Andy's Laughquest '13 in 3D 2013-08-13

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127. The Mysterious Case of No Wait We Did This One 2013-08-14

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128. Goodfellas 2: Betterfellas 2013-08-15

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129. The Touchscreen That Didn't Like to Be Touched 2013-09-03

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130. The Self-Centered Man Who Called It "MeTube" 2013-09-04

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131. DoubleVision Theater presents: 24 ANGRY MEN 2013-09-05

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132. The Evil "S" Who Turned Laughter to Slaughter 2013-09-09

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133. A Bar Walks Into a Horse for a Change 2013-09-10

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134. The Man Who Would Be King, but Chose to Sell Home Appliances Instead 2013-09-11

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135. Nurder, She Wrote without Proofreading 2013-09-12

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136. Ted Nugent and Quentin Tarantino Present: Django Wango Tango 2013-09-16

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137. The One Movie Even Nicolas Cage Wouldn't Star In 2013-09-17

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138. Goodzilla: The Giant Lizard Who Taught Reading Skills 2013-09-18

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139. The Fast and the Bi-Curious 2013-09-19

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140. Mr. White Meets Mr. Extremely White 2013-09-23

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141. Now Is the Winter of Our Disco Tent 2013-09-24

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142. The Black Guy Who Had Almost Every Springsteen Album 2013-09-25

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143. Word Is a Four-Letter Word 2013-09-26

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144. The Microphone That Suddenly Went Off in the Middle Of 2013-09-30

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145. Fast Times at Ridgemont Retirement Home 2013-10-01

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146. Font Wars: Helvetica vs Calibri Part 3 2013-10-02

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147. A Word-for-Word Re-enactment of This Afternoon's Queen Latifah Episode 2013-10-03

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148. Aaron Aaronson and the First-in-the-Phonebook Caper 2013-10-14

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149. The Dog Who Had the Opportunity to Lick Itself But Politely Declined 2013-10-15

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150. Throwing Shade Since 1993 2013-10-16

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151. Is Not In Right Now. Please Leave a Message After the Theme. 2013-10-17

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152. Of Mice and Men and Their Mutant Offspring, Mice-Men 2013-10-21

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153. The Asian Guy Who Actually Appreciated That "Good at Math" Stereotype 2013-10-22

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154. The Westboro Baptist Church's Surprisingly Moving Stage Version of "Brokeback Mountain" 2013-10-23

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155. Microwaving Fish at Work Is a War Crime 2013-10-24

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156. Please Wait While Your Show Title Is Being Processed 2013-10-28

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157. Two Decades, Two Laughs 2013-10-29

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158. A Night of 1000 Laughs and 11 Deafening Silences 2013-10-30

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159. That Spooky Night They Ignored Halloween and Showed Clips from the Last 20 Years 2013-10-31

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